Weight: Goal +21 Didn’t gain, but didn’t lose either
Energy levels: Bleh!
Diet: I baked last week, so not very good. Damn you cupcakes! Damn you!! As I get increasingly upset by how little I’ve done, I find myself turning to food as a comfort more and more. I know that this is wrong, stupid and self-defeating, which makes me feel worse and so the cycle continues. Cue tiny violin.
Exercise: Er, none.
General comments: Another week in which I did pretty much nothing to reach my fitness goals. This has left me feeling really guilty and depressed and has started something of a downward spiral. You would think that feeling this way would get me to the gym (which I know would make me feel better on so many levels), yet it doesn’t. I’m trying really hard to fight the feeling and just get up off my bum but its So Hard. I wish I could understand why! Its so easy to get into bad habits, but so very very hard to start good ones. And restarting is so much more difficult than starting in the first place. Its pretty upsetting to see that I’m already into week 4 and nothing has changed. I find that as I lie in bed at night (while sleep evades me) I keep asking myself the same questions. What am I afraid of more, success or failure? Change, or staying in this physical rut? My actions so far are indicating that success and change are the big issues for me, but I am yet to figure out why. Like I said last week, perhaps a therapist would be a better investment that the gym membership… Let me know if you’ve managed to answer these questions for yourself. And how you did it.
I am concerned that putting this little exercise (or lack thereof) in the public domain is hindering my progress instead of helping. Instead of feeling accountable I end up feeling guilty. I’m also worried that its turning into a bit of a whine and excuse fest, so I’m using this week’s update as a call for support. If you’re doing/have done something similar please comment and let me know how you keep yourself motivated.
I’m just so Bored with a healthy diet and exercise being such major issues in my life. I want to skip forward to a time where they’re just a part of my routine and lifestyle. But the route to get there just keeps eluding me.
On the up side, my neighbour has kindly agreed to be my walking buddy and we have already done a 4.6km walk. Win! But that’s a story for next week. Hopefully this is the start of an upward trend.
Stay tuned for week 4, due Sunday, 13 February 2011!